Many seekers ask me what is the one quality that they must have to achieve success on the royal path of Self-realization. Looking back at my journey, I would say it is ‘thirst.’
You see, I am a very thirsty person. Right from the first, I was full of thirst. So I searched and searched for that something or that someone who could quench my thirst. I received a lot of love and gave a lot of love, but yet my Heart was thirsty. I wondered why.
Even when I started making money in business, I felt something was lacking. I had friends, relationships, and career, yet something was missing. I was not fulfilled. The frustration was slowly building in me until one night I felt I just could not hold it inside. I broke down. I felt so empty in my Heart, tears began to well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I started weeping.
What was I searching for? What was going on with me? Who was the one missing in my life? For whom was I in such pain and agony? Why did I feel so empty in spite of the fact that my life appeared so perfect in all ways? Deep sorrow, anguish, and pain filled my Heart.
I cried that whole night, until nearly four o’clock in the morning… when suddenly… something began to change. It felt like an arrow had pierced my Heart, yet there was no trace of blood. And quite amusingly, the pain was sweet. A sweet nectar was accumulating in my Heart, and flowing out of me. I was beginning to sense that someone might just answer me, so I kept asking and waiting to hear God’s voice.
Finally, I heard a voice. I felt it was my own Self — Higher Self, or God — who said:
“You are thirsty because you want to know Me. You want to merge with me, dissolve into Me.”
I got goose bumps all over my body as I went into an uncontained, unexplained, Divine ecstasy that I had never experienced before in my life. This was my first direct interaction with God! I thought that if only hearing His voice could give me so much joy and bliss, imagine the joy and bliss when He gives Himself to me. I decided I wanted Him and nothing else. Even if it meant I had to die.
This became my only goal in life, and I began to find ways to reach and know Him.
Some people said, “Ah, this could just be your imagination. This can’t be real. It is probably your own mind.”
I told them that it was easy for me to conclude that it was not my mind, because whenever I believed or listened to my mind, there was never any joy. There were never any goose bumps. There was only more trouble. Thus, this could not be my mind.
So I pursued my goal, and the more I turned towards God, the thirstier I felt. I had ups and downs, and periods of joy, and days where nothing happened in my sadhana. But my thirst remained intact.
Then one day, as I was sitting in meditation, my breath suddenly stopped at my Heart centre, and the life force started to move on its own — up and down the middle channel of my spine (Sushumna). My whole room suddenly was filled with light, and I moved out of my body. Soon, not just the room, but also my whole body was lit up. I felt weightless and was floating around in space. My throat and Heart were full of Divine nectar. Then I lost consciousness.
When I woke up, the euphoria was gone, although the nectar remained. The world, however, was no longer the same.
With tears of gratitude, I called my Guruji, and told him my experience. He was very happy to hear it, and asked me to fully describe the experience again. Then, after a brief silence, he said, “My son, now even if you die, you have made your life successful.”
For many days I was in a deep state of Samadhi. I had become one with everything around me, and could feel it ALL. I could manifest many things, and developed siddhis.
Like an alcoholic, I had been searching for a drop of wine. Now I had finally found Him, and found myself floating in an ocean of wine. I could drink as much of it as I was able. I thought I could never be thirsty again. But I was wrong.
The thirst never seemed to go away. I went to Him again, this time with tears of joy, and asked Him why I still felt thirsty.
His voice said:
“Why should you not? There are many who want Me, but don’t know how to find Me. They are thirsty. You will need to quench their thirst to quench yours.”
So you see, I am still thirsty. But now my thirst is even bigger because I love all of you who are thirsty, and who unknowingly seek to quench your thirst through objects. I see how God disguises Himself as an object. While you see only the object, I see God inside that object.
Some people tell me that I must be blessed to have this thirst, to have this rare quality. I do not think it is a quality, because if it were a quality we could refine it, shape it and teach it. I consider this ‘thirst for God’ to be a condition, something all of us have — provided we could recognize this condition, this blessing, within ourselves — provided we welcome the invitation and allow ourselves to do so.
There may still be some who fail to recognize this thirst they have. I tell them that if they can’t feel their thirst, then feel mine. I tell them if they look in my eyes and look into my Heart, they will know my intention and desire for them. They will know my thirst for them. Then there is no way they cannot recognize their own thirst.
If you are with me in our Satsangs, or watching the video for this Satsang, you will recognize the thirst that is beyond all thirst — the thirst that can quench all other thirsts, but still remains unquenched. This is the one thirst you never want to get rid off.
