Nowhere I have looked at the “I.” I have only looked at my present state of beingness. That’s all. The “I” has simply followed that. It has completely followed my beingness. You will see that in due course just as your beingness will change form, your “I” will follow it. It too will change form; it will become it.
And that is what I am going to address today. The topic is “Seeing is Becoming.” That is the central point (Third step). This is the backbone of Self-inquiry, of Advaita itself.
Whatever the “I” sees, it becomes. And I begin my talk with this. (The fourth point I shall take after this.)
So, what do I mean when I say that “Seeing is becoming”? Or, what do I mean when I say that what the “I” sees, it becomes? What I mean to say is: You perceive reality on the basis of what you see. That becomes your reality. You don’t need anybody to give you a proof of the reality – you know it. For example, you see the gross matter around you, this gross body, and you say that “I am the body.” Isn’t it?
Now, the same “you,” when you go into your dream, watches the dream state. It sees that, it identifies with that dream state, that dream character and now it has become that. During that sleep, that dream phase, you do not remember this identity. You now identify with the dream character, whoever it is. It could be the same identity, but the character, the situation, everything has changed.
The reality itself changes. For example, sometimes in the dream you will feel you’re falling down a hill. And sometimes in another dream you will feel that you are given some exam, and you have failed. So new realities emerge in each dream and those have nothing to do with your present situation, but each dream seems so real.
So, your “I” has changed . So, most people today, remain identified in both these states. They oscillate or move between these two states unaware (move from waking to the dream state), and they say, “Okay, this is okay. It’s fine. I feel no need to inquire even of these two states.”
However, a serious seeker, when he first enters Self-inquiry or he takes up spiritual pursuit, observes these two states very minutely. And he comes to the conclusion that “I am not the body, because I can watch over it. I am not the thoughts, because I stand independent of it. I can watch them. I can watch the
rising and falling of my emotions, and I stand aside of it. They don’t touch me. They’re there but they come and they go.”
So, who is this “I?”
“Who is this ‘I’?” is now the question in the mind. It’s like a worm which goes into your head. Now you cannot rest, because now you want to find out. You have now changed from normal, individual people, and now you want to find out, “Who is this ‘I’ who stands independent of these two states?”
But the problem is, the moment you open your eyes, you see the gross world around you. And the moment you close your eyes, you see dreams. After that, you do not remember anything that has happened. That is what happens with maximum people, and that is the problem with seekers also. They don’t know what to do.
So then, what has to be done? So then a thought comes in your mind which is if you close your eyes and look deeply within, by being aware, by observing a state which is beyond the dream, can you find that “I?” Can you find the “I” by going beyond it? That is your question.
So, we will just take some little task together, for just some time. I want all of you here to close your eyes for some time. Whatever position you are, if you are lying down, please lie down. If you are sitting on a couch, please be relaxed. If you are sitting in a chair, relax.
Just close your eyes, for a short time, for some seconds. I want to give you some insight of what I’m trying to drive at. Please close your eyes and relax yourself completely.
Do you see a black void in front of you, ahead of you?
First thing, apply rule number one – Accept it. Completely accept it. Now, apply step number two:
Look inside of it. Gaze into it. Look intently into it. Focus.
Okay. Open your eyes – everybody. What did you all see?
Come on, Jo-Ann. I want an answer from somebody.
Jo-Ann: (laughing) Nothing.
Rajivji: Anybody else saw anything? Did anybody see anything? Everybody, probably two people. Yes, somebody is there, who wants to say something?
Joseph: Yes. Joseph.
Rajivji: My friend! How are you?
Joseph: Hi, Rajiv.
Rajivji: Hello, hello. Yes?
Joseph: Yes. I see nothing.
Rajivji: Very good! You see nothing. Jo-Ann too saw nothing. Most see nothing.
And what was my third step? What was my third step? Have you all forgotten, everybody? Already?
Jo-Ann: “Seeing is becoming.”
Rajivji: YES!!! Seeing is becoming. So (going by the third principle or step) if you see nothing, you become – nothing. The third principle or stage is what you see is what you become. Right?
But, have you ALL become nothing yet? (laughing)
No. It is not so easy that you become nothing. I just wanted to give you an insight
into what my topic was. It is not that you become nothing. And the reason is: the mind will not allow you to become nothing.
This was for only a few seconds, you intently gazed into that Void, that nothingness. And you came to the conclusion, “I see nothing.”
But I’m telling you, if you are a serious meditator, you meditate, you concentrate for more than twenty minutes, thirty minutes, forty minutes, fifty minutes, you’ll have different observations. You will watch a lot of things happening. You will not see nothing. And mostly, you will watch the movement of your mind itself.
You will watch thoughts. You will watch various emotions. You will watch various happenings, phenomenons, but you will lose track of that nothingness.
Do you get me?
The goal is that void. But the mind does not allow you. And the reason is, the existence of mind depends on that. The moment you become nothing, means the mind has died. And that is why the mind will struggle for its existence.
So, what are we to do? We have to continue. We have to go on. We cannot let the mind, the thoughts, the emotions dictate to us.
We have to watch over that, keeping our focus only on one goal, and that is to become that nothingness, to watch that nothingness, to look at it.
Over a long period of time, when you will continue to look at that Void for a long time, you will come to an understanding that the thoughts have come, and they have gone.
You will not be any more distracted to those thoughts. You will not run behind that. Initially you will, and for a long time you will. Believe me, for a LONG TIME people are still identified with the thoughts. But continuous watching, continuous watching, continuous watching – that’s what you have to do. You have to continuously watch at that Void. Bring that Void near you. Look at it.
Many distractions will come, of various forms, during the time of meditation. Just when your mind will drop, and it will feel that it is losing its existence, it will give you an extraordinary experience! That is the nature of the mind. And you will follow that experience. And you will want that experience. But you do not know that is a trick of the mind. The mind is tricking you.
You have to remain only centered near the Void. You do not have to go follow the experiences. Various experiences will come. Sometimes some sound will come. Sometimes some light will manifest out of the blue. Sometimes you’ll see a tunnel, and you’re going inside the tunnel. Sometimes you’ll see some revolving lights – blue, purple; various things. All kinds of experiences will come to the fore during meditation.
They are distractions, but desirable distractions. Again, I have to tell you this – You cannot prevent that from happening. It shows that the mind is getting scared
of dying! So that is why he’s showing you these experiences. He’s trying to distract you.
So, don’t fall for that. But, be happy that these experiences are coming; it means that progress is being made. Yet I shall remain only focused on what I have to do (irrespective of these experiences), I shall not deviate from my path. And I shall continue to look, continue to look while I am meditating.
One day what will happen is that all thoughts, all emotions, all experiences will no longer take your attention at the time of meditation. You will be centered in the Void. And all thoughts, all experiences may or may not happen. You are not paying any attention to them during meditation.
They are happening on the surface, while in your case, there is a perfect relationship going on with your Void. There is continuity of consciousness which is flowing towards you and the Void. Nothing is distracting that.
Nothing comes in the way.
Everything will still happen. But you don’t feel anything. The flow of consciousness is perfectly directed at the Void! And at that time, real meditation will take place. The mind will drop. In fact, you will not have even this awareness that you are meditating on the Void. And at that moment, that “I-ness” has gone. That is what is going to happen.
Now another important question comes here: “How do I look?”
This needs to be addressed, also – “How am I supposed to look at the Void? If I’m going to look for my mind, then the mind is going to show only itself. It is going to give me a glimpse of a false Void.” That is how tricky the mind is.
You will create your own Void and tell me, “Rajivji, I got a glimpse of the Void. I was in the Void!” But that was only the mind.
So, I am going to give you a technique. I’m going to share you one. In fact, this technique was brought to me in the notice by my Guruji, Sri Edji, and it is very much mentioned in the autobiography [“Autobiography of a Jnani” – teaching dialogues between Edward Muzika and Rajiv Kapur.] And I have just made it into a step, and just trying to provide it, so that people can understand what looking means, the real looking.
As you close your eyes to meditate, you will see the Void. What you have to do is, you have to bring the Void to your heart – downwards – and bring it here. And now you are feeling the Void, you bring it closer to yourself, and feel it there. And look from there, from your heart.
This is a very effective technique. When you are looking from the Third Eye there is still the Void. I am not disputing that. I did it in my Kriya yoga for many years. But it gives rises to many kinds of phenomena and kundalini experiences and many other such lights, and noises and voids – which are all noise, all mind- work. And you can get lost in this.
Rather bring it here, onto the heart, near your heart. Feel the Void here. Accept it here. Enter the Void here – and then SINK into it. The more you sink, the more mind is going to die – the more meditation will effortlessly happen – the better the looking will be – because here in the heart, it is not the mind which is looking.
Try and go downwards (backwards). As far as possible, try to go downwards, even below the heart, if possible – go downwards! And just go.
Don’t look at anything.
And then, you may find that you are going into a bottomless pit. You’re sinking deep into some kind of scary stuff there. You know, it’s very scary. But that again (chuckling) is a final weapon of the mind. He wants you to bring him (the mind) back.
And that is where most advanced meditators make a mistake. Just when they’re sinking into a state, they bring the mind back!
They want to become awake (wake up.) And I’m telling you to awaken!
They’re two different things: You do not have to be awake. You have to awaken. In the awake state the mind is active; while in the awakened state the mind has disappeared.
So, my dear friends, this is what you should follow. The technique is given – “How to Look.”
And this should introduce you to the method. It is a form of guided meditation. You can try it. And one fine day, once you become very deep into this, as the sinking starts to happen, you will come to know that the “I” who started this journey of searching has disappeared.
Now, there is someone else who is doing the search. That, I will come to later in the Satsang. For the time being, we must stick to this.
Now, my fourth point comes into question, which is: No matter what you become, even when you become the Void, it is all false. It is still an illusion. Even the void is dropped later.
This is the fourth and final point which will be addressed in another Satsang in more detail.
The third point has to be done first, and then the fourth step will come later . You will have to know about nothingness (watching it in its totality) and become it first.
This talk today has introduced to you a method, has tried to give you a structure of where you should head in your meditation.
So, I shall complete my talk. Thank you so much. Any questions are most, most welcome.